collected wild thoughts

Panic Button Activated

yonah — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 07:49:28 +0000

Punctuality: you’d never be late for work/school/royalty/wedding etc.
Dead bird: mean what you say/sing. God deserves the best praise no matter what mood you’re in
Fashionista: meeting Him is way more important than the biggest earthly wedding.
Huddle up: like a little girl said, “sit nearer the front to be closer to God!”
Zzz monster: get your priorities right, you wouldn’t fall asleep even if the boss you hate is talking to you
Self-proclaimed holiday: there is no adequate reason to not come. Yes, even exams.

shudder

:/

yonah — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 01:05:49 +0000

I miss you?

and I don’t know what to do.

Break

yonah — Thu, 19 May 2011 13:04:16 +0000

So I’ll have 5 free days to bake. At least that’s what I think. :/

Decided on 5 types of baked goods…

Cookie
Cake + Cupcakes
Bread
Spread
Petit Four

amyruth.xxoo

Back & Forth; Up & Down

yonah — Mon, 09 May 2011 09:08:57 +0000

I want to bake. And I don’t mean for free. I mean I want to bake for events. I need occasions to practice first of course. For this reason I need peoples’ birthdays that need cakes. Or a bridal/baby shower. Or an anniversary? Maybe not just 1 cake but a dessert buffet! Sigh. It’s like I know there’s something I want (maybe even need!) to do but I can’t. Who would eat it? I don’t just want to make any cake for any occasion. I want to practice making elaborate cakes for SPECIAL occasions. Have I emphasised that quite enough?? Only then could I possibly consider opening a blog shop that would offer all these services officially.

I walk past places like Dessert Bar, Canele, Da Paolo etc. and I feel jealous. I feel like I’m about to explode. I want to bake macaroons! Decorate fancy cakes. Stack cakes. Whip cream. Separate eggs. Buy decadent ingredients.

Money doesn’t come out of my ears. I can just bake any old day for “fun”. Sure, baking is way fun! But I want my dessert to be appreciated on a special occasion. And it doesn’t do anyone any good to add inches around the middle on a daily basis. Am I asking too much?

Argh.

amyruth.xxoo

Completed and Uploaded

yonah — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 14:58:53 +0000

Here is the link for the photos of the 14 recipes plus a few more. Didn’t get the Red Velvet Roll and Lemon Lime Pie on camera. I’d do everything again except: Red Velvet Roll and the Corndog Muffins. Just weren’t all that good.

Enjoy the photos! ((:

Bake-arella

yonah — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 18:59:21 +0000

Ugh. Anyway, ignore that name.

So I’m turning a fine 22 in just over a week. I actually quite forgot about it until about an hour ago. The idea that Becca won’t be here just sucks. Could I not celebrate? I mean I want to be engaged in something so I don’t think about her being so far away. It’ll be our first birthday apart. I don’t mean to be so dramatic but after sharing celebrations for 21 years doing 1 year without just seems wrong. I know, eventually she’ll get married and maybe we’ll spend even more years apart. Quite a few I think. Ho-hum.

Focusing on the other sister – her wedding. Which I am eagerly gearing up for especially with the dessert table. So, here’s an excuse to stock up on baking equipment. heh. Not that I haven’t already done so. Obviously some items on the following list are rather OTT but I’ll put them down for kicks anyway.

No. It’s not in order of preference. Rather it’s in order of the presumed price (which may be wrong). But who doesn’t like presents you know you’re gonna use?! Not me! So here’s some things I know I’ll use. For suressss.

amyruth.xxoo

til 22.

yonah — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 13:43:55 +0000

Anyway, so I figured, if I’m really serious about baking for events and stuff, then I need to get my baking polished up. Gonna look for a book about the sciences of cooking. I hope this will explain certain things so I can tweak the recipes here and there.

My current plan? Until my birthday on the 19th of April, I’m gonna complete 14 recipes from my favourite food blog: Lick the Bowl Good.

Initially I wanted to do 20 recipes but could only find 14 I wanted to try. She does quite a bit of baking with cakemix, crock-pot dinners and very sinful (ie very sweet/rich) desserts.

I’m not gonna bother to decorate any of the cakes unless someone suddenly asks for a cake for a special occasion. Unlikely I think. :/

don’t worry Jet, I’ll still read, run and swim the rest of the time. (:

amyruth.xxoo

simple joys

yonah — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 12:57:55 +0000

after working like crazy for the past few weeks-months, I’ve come to realise what are the simple joys in nursing.

as much as being in-charge and really stretching myself almost every day leaves me satisfied, I still enjoy spending time with my patients.

joking around with them
tidying them up
taking them for a shower
combing their hair (yes, even the old men!)
doing simple/complicated dressings and leaving them all clean!
feeding those who can’t feed themselves
sitting an almost bedridden patient out on a chair just for a while
cleaning a very soiled diaper
walking someone who has not walked in ages!
waving a patient off as he/she is discharged

and so I do enjoy being a junior once in a while. (:

amyruth.xxoo

A piece of the puzzle

yonah — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 13:52:57 +0000

I’ve figured.

I’m the sort of person that gets on with life for quite a while. I don’t talk about the problems, I don’t admit my need for rest, I try to take on other people’s problems too, I don’t let my emotions get the better of me (I try to appear happy all the time). And this can go on for quite a few days if not weeks.

But like anything else under pressure, there’s a breaking point. At some point in time I just snap. I let all the emotions fall upon me like a great wave on the helpless sand. Then I just cry – like a baby. Stupidly I try to stop/hide the crying and get on with life until the next breaking point.

So what triggers the crying? It could be multiple things. A long day at work. A sense of hopelessness despite doing happy things like baking. Feeling lonely. Or just being alone! Making a mistake because of carelessness or stupidity. Ah, the list is endless. And the thing is, I don’t like talking about it to others cos it makes me feel like a failure (or maybe I’m just too insecure).

Grin and bear it. Life goes on anyway right?

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me – at least I hope so!

At least God knows… at least He knows.

amyruth.xxoo

Over the shoulder

yonah — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 21:13:22 +0000

Waiting for the long night to pass and looked back at my considerably old posts. Thought I’d laugh at how silly and over-dramatic I was in various situations, but it wasn’t funny. Instead I found myself getting twisted inside. Something was touching a very raw nerve.

Most of what I blogged about are mistakes. Huge mistakes. In retrospect that is. And as much as I’d like to say I never regret anything no matter how horrid the experience was, I do regret most of it. Yes, so my past has made me who I am today. Good or bad – it remains subjective. But I’d rather not have had all that time, energy and emotions wasted.

Right guy first time, last time? Lifelong career from the very beginning? Ack. All down the drain. The list would never end.

I don’t know if anyone actually reads this anymore. Why do we blog anyway? I guess, we hope that in doing this someone will come by and say “I feel that was too! Exactly that way!” and then we won’t feel so alone. Sad and pathetic eh?

I’m actually a very fail girlfriend. >:( No, I’m not looking for someone to rebut that statement. Sigh. I’m sorry Jet.

amyruth.xxoo