I am dead beat and feel chilled. No, I am not in the UK anymore. We arrived back this morning at about seven-ish. I managed to doze off for a bit just now but I just couldn’t sleep. The thoughts keep coming back. About five of these ‘nightmares’  in the past 40 days. They aren’t nightmares as many know them. In my opinion, I think these current nightmares are more torturous than the usual types. I sleep for a while but my mind suddenly gets woken by a disturbing thought. What’s worse is that I havn’t the foggiest idea what that thought is all about. But I just its disturbing my brain and keeps me from sleeping. Usually I cannot sleep the whole night and I just have to keep my eyes open or the thought will return. It’s quite frustrating. The first one happened on the last day of my exams. Really bad. I felt nauseous and all and didn’t sleep a wink. Instead I spent most of my time walking about the dark house crying or sitting in the bathroom trying to puke my head off! It has happened twice in Sg, not counting just now, and twice in the UK. If there is anything I really want this Christmas, it’s that these recurring ‘nightmares’ go away. Like I am constantly reminded, bad thoughts and things that trouble us are not from God but of the devil. So just pray. Pray really hard that I don’t have these. It just really gets me down. Please, God.

Love,

amyruth.

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