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I am down in the dumps. Daddy passed me the invitation for St. Marg’s speech day and told me to invite Nei Nei to go with Liz. I love St. Marg’s. I really do. But don’t they realise that some of us have school and will not finish official lessons til about 6?! Speech day is on the 20th of July, a Friday at 4.30p.m!! I have lessons and I don’t want to miss them especially since the exams will be right round the corner. And if I do decide to go for Speech day, I will have to write in to NP and SGH for permission to miss lessons. Yes, that’s the catch with the sponsorship. They have to know about almost everything we do. I don’t want to miss lessons like I said just now. But I don’t want to miss this day too! It’s really special. It will be my last speech day (unless I go back as the Guest of Honour. haha) and the prizes are BIG things. I shall not elaborate here. But yea, they are BIG!! They expect me. This is such a dilemma.

I also have to stop my part time work at the clinic as stated by SGH. From now on, I have to be solely committed to SGH. What a joke.

Just pray that God will really guide me in this decision. I have to know soon. )):

❤ amyruth.

Just got back from signing the deed for my sponsorship with SGH and breakfast. My two sureties are Aunty Wee Lee, our family’s lawyer, and Aunty Wen-di, a distant relative. Aunty Wen-di is really cool. Not at all like a 35 year old. She even told me to ask her to go with me and my friends when we make our debut at a club. She named MOS and Zouk. Haha. Doubt I will ever go for real so yea. Smokey surroundings and me just don’t go together. If anything, I’d go there for the drinks and talk but nothing much else.

Finally these two weeks of CA is over. I am looking forward to the wards as appose to these 2 weeks. Now I have a well deserved 2 weeks ‘holiday’. What am I going to do?

1.Get back to running and swimming [no one for tennis)):]

2. Get through the 4 presentations

3. write my journals for school

4. Visit St. Marg’s

5. Practice like mad and perform for Baracudas

6. Meet hilmi for HS idol

7. Go shopping [no idea who with. alone?]

Those are the things I must get done. Extras?

1. Go to sentosa

2. Go to ECP for cycling

3. sleep more than necessary

Oh well, I think I am gonna catch up on some sleep now.


I am tired. I am hurting. I am loved. I am cared for. I am blessed. I am searching. I am vulnerable. I am yours. I am known. I am protected. I am pushed-aside. I am provided for.

No matter what or who I am to you or the world, no one can trivialise the importance I hold in God’s eyes. The same applies to you. Don’t let them and the devil get you down. You‘re beyond them. Don’t rise to the challenge. Do what the devil would hate you to do – love them.

❤ amyruth.

Don’t get your knickers in a twist; it ain’t a pretty sight.

Audrey Hepburn

I am in a very airy-fairy mood right now. It’s father’s day and we will be taking daddy out for lunch and giving him his present.

Yesterday was rather uneventful except for the evening as we went to the worship symposium with Graham Kendrick. It was fantastic and I am really glad I went. I wish I had asked you along. You’d have enjoyed it I think. One thought that went through my mind while singing was this…

what if the whole world knew about Jesus? What if the whole world trusted in Jesus? Can you just imagine the magnitude of that? The overflowing love, insurmountable peace and over powering mercy that the whole world could experience. It would be amazing. Really amazing. So amazing that I can’t even describe it here. One day, we will finally not be able to tell the difference between blessings and trials. They will all be joy, pure joy.(:

Didn’t go to Living Water’s today but to St. George’s. Mummy talked to me about that. I just don’t feel like I fit in. I know that that’s probably not entirely true. But without Liz and Becca to sit with I’d be at a loss. I guess I am just over dependant on those who already know me. Mummy says I lack confidence. Maybe I do. I just know that I fear being rejected. God, please help me. If I knew that at least Becky, Kenneth or maybe even Josh would be there every week then I think I might go. I know, going to church should not be for the reason that my friends are there. It’s as if there is this mini war going on within me. For this very reason I haven’t a clue how I survived HS FOC and how I would have survived nursing if not for my friends. I wouldn’t have joined GLs if not for the expectations people already had of me after FOC and all that. Looking back at all this, I am surprised I am where I am now.

Changing topic, the signing of the scholarship with my two sureties is a really headache. The sureties have to be about 21 but below 55 years of age, must be a Singaporean and gainfully employed. It’s very particular and they want the names and information by Wednesday. I will personally deliver the letter to their block. Just pray that God will lead us to the right sureties and get everything settled.

❤ amyruth.

what I gain on the swings I lose on the round-about.

Four days have passed by really quickly and before I know it this week will be over and I will start another week of CAs. This week has been really good. I have learnt much and, in the end, the test was not too bad. Dr Myat came today for our presentations. That was relatively good. I think I will miss the clinic and a few of the staff.

A few updates on my life:

My scholarship to SGH has been granted after a call and sms from them. I can’t say I was elated about it and all. I got the sms and was sort of like “okay”. When I had gotten the call a few days before that I had not really registered what they had told me. So yea. I guess I am just concerned with what is expected of me.

Dean and Ling Siew’s wedding on the 7th of July at church will be a sweet thing I reckon. For once in a long while I will wear pink as they have asked ushers to wear pink. Just this once.((:

I am considering cancelling work this saturday and taking a rest. I will instead go to town to collect my jeans and use my book prize given to me a year ago. Yes, the one from speech day that is more than my allowance! Haha. I haven’t a clear idea of how I am going to spend all that money. A medical dictionary is a definite. I decided on that quite a while ago. Anybody wanna go with me? Haha. Then of course I will be back home for dinner.

Oh! Gramps’ nausea has been solved (at least we pray it has been) and diagnosed as gastirisis. Mummy is getting excited to going back to the UK with daddy for a month from the 12th of July. Unfortunately they will miss St. Marg’s speech day and Elizabeth’s MOE award. But then again, it will be a good way for them to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary in the UK. (AHHH. speech day means more book vouchers to spend!)

Other than those updates nothing has changed.

❤ amyruth.

The first day of CA at Jurong Poly went by really well and fast. 7 of us girls were posted there but I had to go around by myself cos of my assignments. Whatever it was, I had great fun. And no, I wasn’t wallpaper! [thanks Stephen…] Morning was spent in two rooms: 16 and 17. There they did jabs for babies and developmental assessment. The nurse I was posted with was really great and she was working on a project. It is the lactation scheme. [basically teaching mothers how to breast feed] I had no idea how complex the feeding was! She explained everything to me and the mothers over and over again. For that morning I managed to get three components signed [hehe].

Lunch was a relatively easy affair and then I was posted to rooms 18-20 by myself again. This time I had less helpful nurses but it was still fun. In there I observed a pap smear being carried out and counselling for young smoking offenders being held. I was given the chance to do BP but guess what, I couldn’t hear a sound when I took it. I was nervous, the patient was nervous and in the end I had to hand it over to the SN.

All in all the day was really good and I am looking forward to the next few days. The only bad point is the 3 tests, 1 presentation and horrible shoes. Let’s just hope things get better.

Hope your CA gets better.(:

❤ amyruth.

I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I’ll miss you
Kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

Need you
Feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you’ve had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

❤ amyruth