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Here I stand alone with this weight upon my heart and it will not go away. In my head I keep on looking back, right back to the start, wondering what it was that made you change. Well I tried but I had to draw the line and still this question keeps on spinning in my mind: What if I had never let you go? Would you be the man I used to know? If I’d stayed, if you’d tried, if we could only turn back time. But I guess we’ll never know.
Many roads to take; some to joy, some to heart-ache. Anyone can lose their way. And if I said that we could turn it back, right back to the start would you take the chance and make the change? Do you think how it would have been sometimes? Do you pray that I’d never left your side? What if I had never let you go? Would you be the man I used to know? If I’d stayed, if you’d tried, if we could only turn back time. But I guess we’ll never know.
If only we could turn the hands of time. If I could take you back would you still be mine? ‘Cos I tried but I had to draw the line, and still this question keep on spinning in my mind: What if I had never let you go, would you be the man I used to know? What if I had never walked away? ‘Cos I still love you more than I can say. If I’d stayed, if you’d tried, if we could only turn back time. But I guess we’ll never know.

<3amyruth.

Haha. This is so funny. But at the same time quite scary. Just what are kids thinking about nowadays?!

<3amyruth.

Today was the first official day of the holidays and it was good. I spent the morning at home before going to west mall to meet edwin. A real gentleman I must say. Then went home instead of my hair cut. Been told by someone real sweet that the length of my hair is nice just as it is. Haha. Shall go some time later. Maybe before camp though.

Went for a very depressing run. Not that the run itself and the surroundings were bad just that I am mighty out of shape! I can’t believe how out of shape I actually am!! ARHHHHHHHH. Oh well, shall slowly improve again. Get back to normal.

Went to Glentrees with Daddy to start assembling the loft bed. Haha. We looked like a couple of whackos especially when we got the stuff the wrong way round! Now I am back home I haven’t much to say. Shall sign out here. ((:

<3amyruth.

The exams are over. Made me really high especially before and during the movie. Walked around in PS and saw this really cute and adorable top with whales on it in Dorothy Perkins. But shall wait til it is more affordable before I reach into my pocket. After that I went to Kino with Sharity and bought a total of 5 books. 2 comics, 2 Christian books and one Mega BIG sudoku book. After that I went to keep Jie Quan company while he studied for his exam. Hope I didn’t distract him too much with my laughing as I read Calvin and Hobbes. C & H is the bomb.

Not going online to night. Not much mood to talk. Alot of thoughts are weighing on my already heavy-laden mind. I think I did alot of things today I wish I hadn’t. No, I don’t think, I know I did. Really gets me. How on earth can I call myself a Christian. Guess this song sums up what I have decided to do…

REBORN [Rebecca St. James]

 If you see a change in me don’t wonder
There’s someone in my life, a peace I can’t describe
For I’ve been reborn
If you see a change in me don’t wonder
I found a whole new life
A hope that I can’t hide
For I’ve been reborn

Have you ever felt
A longing, a searching within your soul for something more
But you don’t know what for
There’s One who will reach across the distance
From the heavens to the earth
Because He loves you
He loves you

If you see a change in me don’t wonder
There’s someone in my life, a peace I can’t describe
For I’ve been reborn
If you see a change in me don’t wonder
I found a whole new life
A hope that I can’t hide
For I’ve been reborn

If you see a change in me (X4)

Have you ever felt
That something’s missing within your soul
You want something more
But you don’t know what for
There is only One you need
But you’ve got to believe that he loves you
Enough to give His life

If you see a change in me don’t wonder
There’s someone in my life, a peace I can’t describe
For I’ve been reborn
If you see a change in me don’t wonder
I found a whole new life
A hope that I can’t hide
For I’ve been reborn

Oh well, another new start! haha.((:

<3amyruth.

Another week is over. Can’t really believe it. 2 more papers. FON and MIC was okay so far. Shall wait til the results are out before I comment any further. Received a very encouraging message from Dr Ron (my AAP lect) the morning of my FON paper about the previous paper. Haha. Kept me in quite high spirits but toned down after a while. All I can say about FON is that I just hope the lecturers like my personalised answers. Don’t think most of it came from the notes probably just thought them up there and then! So much for studying.

Decided to go for NPSU Challengers camp after persausion from friends and seniors and praying about it. Plus BB camp I will be in school for the whole first week of the holidays except one night. Like Sayang said, we’ll both be zombies in BB camp.

One good thing is that I’m gonna go register for my driving lessons this coming week! haha. Finally getting round to it.

Just a few things that have really spoken to me the past couple of days. Ephesians 3:14-21, Hebrews 11, 12:1-13.

❤ amyruth.

Alot of things, known and unknown have happened. Guess it all mounted up and I finally broke down tonight. And to think I could ‘preach’ about perspective to YG when I myself was out of sorts. Sigh. Really need some time. Shall just put some lyrics here. Listen HERE for the song.

Warrior is  Child (Gary Valenciano)

Lately I’ve been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I’m amazing
I’m strong beyond my years
But they don’t see inside of me
I’m hiding all the tears

Chorus:
They don’t know that I come running home when I fall down
They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
(Look up for His smile)
‘Coz deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because His arrow is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I’m amazing
I never face retreat, oh no
But they don’t see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

I’m sorry God. ):

❤ amyruth.

Hello(:

haven’t blogged here for a while. but for the benefit of those who are still reading this blog and don’t know my new blog here’s a quick update. first, ask me for the address of the new blog. exams are really close. i’m just taking a small break on the comp. will knuckle down to finish my PAS revision after lunch. have attatchments at SGH in the second batch. finished my 4+ hours of peer tutoring and now just hope they all do their best. JIA YOU! not just to them, but to everyone who needs encouragement. many things have happened in the past week or so. don’t wanna dwell on it. but here’s a song that sort of sums it up. especially since xiang qin showed me the video.

What hurts the most [Rascal Flatts]

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then
and just let ’em out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I’m ok, but that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
was being so close
And havin’ so much to say
And watchin’ you walk away
And never knowin’
What could’ve been
And not seein’ that lovin’ you
Is what I was trying to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losin’ you every where I go
But I’m doin’ it
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still harder
Gettin’ up, gettin’ dressed, livin’ with this regret, but I know
If I could do it over

I would trade, give away, all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin’ so much to say
And watchin’ you walk away
And never knowin’
What could’ve been
And not seein’ that lovin’ you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin’ so much to say
And watchin’ you walk away
And never knowin’
What could’ve been
And not seein’ that lovin’ you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

❤ amyruth.

Hello there(:

Here’s just a little something to encourage everyone. Whether you’re going through a tough patch or not. Figured I would put it on this blog since its the most read. Was just listening to it this morning and it really got me thinking. Like I said before, sometimes we focus too much on a certain thing such as the problems that we forget just how BIG our God is and that when in his hands, all is safe. So to everyone out there! Cheer up, we have this uber Big God who can do more than you can ever imagine or hope for. You can listen to it HERE while you read the lyrics.

 Father, I want You to hold me
I want to rest in Your arms today
Father, I want You to show me
How much You care for me in every way
I bring all my cares
and I lay them at Your feet
You are always there
and You love me as I am
Yes, You love me as I am

Father, I know You will hold me
I know I am Your child, Your very own
Father, I know You will show me
I feel Your arms holding me, I’m not alone

I bring all my fears
and I lay them at Your feet
You are always here
and You love me as I am
Yes, You love me as I am

<3amyruth.

Went scouting for my old blog. The really old one is gone but my previous one still exists. Haha. Read through all the posts. Brings back so many memories. If you ask me now, that blog really is me. It reflects me more than this blog does. I have not been myself. Not with anyone really. Not my true open self. Then again, I guess it takes time. That blog is filled with posts from a life I had lived for 5 years. Now, things have changed. But that’s still me. I haven’t changed. Okay, this post is really confusing. But oh well, read all of it if you want. Looking back I know I am a girl of many strong convictions and look whats happened? I hardly voice them now. It’s sad. Gotta make sure my head remains firmly on my shoulders.

http://rightbrainleft.blogspot.com

Yup. Well that’s all for now folks. Hope you understand ME better after reading the link.

Oh, and there are no links and comments cos I removed them all when I deleted my old skin and changed to something simpler.

❤ amyruth.

Mummy and Daddy returned yesterday from the UK. They had gone there for a 3 week holiday to celebrate their 25th anniversary and visit Granny and Gramps. Where did they go? Besides visiting Granny and Gramps in Chipstead, they visited Aunty Debbie, Aunty Pat, Ruth and Daniel in London. On top of that they went to Wales back to the place they had their honeymoon to celebrate their 25th. Sweet. They met up with lots of the family. And of course Yasmin! She is so adorable now as she waddles around.

They came back with a number of things. Mummy brought back wool from the field with the smell and all. Haha. A few pieces of clothing we had left behind at Chipstead [it really does have Granny’s smell]. Our Christmas presents from last year. Pairs of earrings for Elizabeth and me. A cute nail brush for Becca. Photo frame for me and a tray for Liz that read “Her Ladyship”. Along with that came the food!!! We got party rings, jelly babies and maynard’s wine gums. Haha. Of course, like I told Trey, there is so much more stuff in the UK that rocks. Miss it. Oh well. Have work to do. Shall end here.

<3amyruth.

Ps. I have a new blog in addition to this blog. Will post more personal stuff there. Ask me for the link.