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Exodus 34:14 “Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.”

Recently I watched a video on youtube where Oprah challenged this attribute of God: Jealousy. She couldnt understand how such a loving, forgiving, gracious, patient God could also be a jealous God. Why are we humans so blind? Why do we walk around and spew nonsense with blinders on? We view jealousy in the human form of it: “feeling resentment against someone because of that person’s rivalry, success, or advantages (often fol. by of): He was jealous of his rich brother.)”

But our God isn’t a human God!!! If we already know that why are we comparing him to human jealousy? He is ultimate holiness. We are ultimate scum. He is a star-breather, universe-creator, majestic God, healer of all illnesses, overseer of all that happens in this universe, and yet, we in our ignorance and stupidity dare to put him on par with us.

Let me try and explain what His jealousy means. I cannot tell you everything because I don’t understand it all. Here goes anyway: A parent loves their child with unconditional abundant love that provides everything they absolutely need in this earthly life. This parent showers the child with abundant blessings no one could imagine. Then this ungrateful child decides that this love is not enough. This child goes in search of another parent and disowns the former. This new parent knows nothing about this child. This new parent just deceives this child and lures it with all its false and empty promises of love. How would the former parent feel? Jealousy and sadness. Confusion? “what did I do wrong? Did I not love my child enough? Didn’t I give my child everything?” In truth an earthly parent cannot give their child everything but only a portion of what our God can give.

The very creator who created us knows every single hair on our head, the thoughts we think in silence, the words that we are about to speak before they are spoken. He loves us with a holy love that far surpasses all the love our parents have for us. He knows us inside out, He gives us everything and more than we need, He fulfills every promise He has and ever will make to us. And yet we can wander from Him in search of “more”. “What more is there?” He asks. If a wordly parent could be jealous of their child disowning them in search of another parent, how much more could God be of His creation running around blindly in search for another god. The only difference is that His is a holy jealousy. One that is well placed. He deserves to be jealous because we were made by Him and after giving everything and more to us we ignore His calls and look to others. Are we searching love from idols (even free-thinkers have idols)? Why? He has given us all the love we’ll need for eternity! He isn’t imperfect like our parents in this world. He didn’t do anything wrong, He didn’t shortchange us so He can’t ask himself “what did I do wrong?” because He didn’t! He doesn’t need to doubt Himself. He can and will be jealous til we turn back and acknowledge that our love, our searching, our admiration, worship, idolising is all misplaced. All of it.

So he continues to ask: haven’t you seen and heard of my love? haven’t you seen and heard of my grace? haven’t you seen and heard of my mercy? Just look at yourself. You’re a fine example of my love, mercy, grace, compassion, forgiveness, strength and everything I am. Because I made you. So why do you have to commit adultery? Why do you have to keep searching? I am here. You’ve seen, you’ve heard. I am only asking for what I deserve as your creator: ALL of you.


Been reading Passion and Purity (P&P). haven’t finished it but decided to pen a few thoughts down just for now.

I have been putting off addressing a few rather pressing issues. I thought I had made myself clear. But even I was unsure of what to do. Am I to remain single forever? I’m not sure. Still have to kneel down and pray about that. But I know I want to remain single now. The very passage from scripture I shared with a friend last night I read again in P&P.

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, 
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? 
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, 
or weighed the mountains on the scales 
and the hills in a balance?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard? 
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?

He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, 
and its people are like grasshoppers. 
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, 
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

He brings princes to naught 
and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.

No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground, 
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

“To whom will you compare me? 
Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: 
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name. 
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob, 
and complain, O Israel, 
“My way is hidden from the LORD; 
my cause is disregarded by my God”?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard? 
The LORD is the everlasting God, 
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary 
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD 
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; 
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

how absolutely amazing is our God?! The very creator of the entire universe (not just earth, this little speck) who cares to give us (an even more minuscule speck) strength, comfort, hope?

If the potentially most important person in my life cannot share in this absolute joy that I have in our Lord, where will our relationship/marriage hinge?! Some people say that it’s all the feelings. “If both of you like/love each other its enough.” But is that all it is? Just feelings?! Is it that shallow? I want to be able to receive support and in return support that ultra important person in OUR walk with God.

“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

It shouldn’t just be HIS walk or HER walk with God. It should become OUR walk with God. So if he or she does not share this intimate relationship with God how can it be OUR walk?!

In God’s time He will lead me to the man He will have me marry if that is His will. Of course not everyone is called to a life of matrimony. But in that life of singlehood we are not alone.

But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. Others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

A life of singlehood is not the end of the world. I don’t know where my life will lead. But I know that God is in entire control of it and “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” What more assurance do we need?

So my final stance to this “song and dance” is to Let go and Let God. ((:

As chilren bring their broken toys,                                                                           with tears for us to mend,                                                                                               I Brought my broken dreams to God,                                                                   because He is my friends.                                                                                             But the  instead of leaving Him in peace to work alone,                                                  I hung around and tried to help,                                                                               with ways that were my own.                                                                                         At last, I snatched them back again                                                                          And cried, “How can you be so slow?”                                                                        “My child” He said, “What could I do?                                                                        You never did let go.”

“Holding on to problems that were never really mine. Searching for solutions that I know I could not find. But calling on you helped me realise, now I see, there really is no mystery, oh Lord You hold the key. But I still wonder what is there for me to do. I’ve made one more mistake ’cause I took my eyes off You to glance at my circumstance. Lord what is wrong with me? Gotta remind myself that You’re all I need.”

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick


Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images


Well, I’d never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you’re gone and I’m haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Why did God make trees green? Just so they can make food?

No. He could have made them any other colour and still be able to make food. So why not red? Why not pink? Blue? Purple? Man thinks he is so intelligent that he has discovered that green plants make food. God is way beyond our immature, stunted intelligence. He choose green for a reason.

Let me show you why:

need i explain? he knew what it’d look like. God loves beauty. It doesn’t have to be bedazzled and all dressed up. Just the sheer colours of contrast. Even the most astute artist would not be able to come up with such beauty. If this doesn’t make you think twice about our Lord’s greatness, I don’t know what will.

Looking out my window
I see the trees blowing in the breeze
Looking out my window
I see the birds flying in the sky
And I know
With just one breath
You created the whole world
And I know
If I don’t praise You
The rocks will soon cry out,cry out,cry out..

Praise Him
Lift your voices
Let it ring
Throughout all the earth

Praise Him
Let all men know that Jesus Christ
He is alive!



not gonna blog words but just 4 collages. then you can follow the link on my page to see what i did for my birthday.

My lovely girls and a few guys from my class in hs planned a surprise birthday celebration during our break…

Spent the evening with Jie Quan over dinner he prepared and then sweets in HV before a walk home…

Had birthday breakfast with loves from home at the botanics followed by work at the clinic and a cake. [sorry, no graphics)):]

HUGE bbq with sab and the truckloads of girls at ECP. thanks mel((:…

finally dinner with family on the 20th at imperial treasure.loves!!!

❤ amyruth.xxxooo

so. the old SAF school of military medicine (SAFSMM?) is being knocked down!!!!


its a really old building opposite pandan valley. been vacant since 2006. and now!!! the beautiful building is gonna be a pile or dust with the odd brick here and there! how absolutely heart-wrenching. i wanted to sneak in and take photos of the fantastic place at the high risk of being shot. okay. not really that dramatic. but it’s still sad! that building was so so so nice and old. overgrown plants and all.

ho hum. can’t keep everything. especially since no one uses it.

so we did the foc photo montage in school today. almost done. quite good i think. needs more umph in it but we’ll get there. girls were great fun with all the photos and all. 3 seniors were patient to. steph left early abandoning keen hong and kadir to our utter madness. poor kadir stayed with us and even walked to the bus stop with us! absolute honor eh? haha.

school starts soon. so looking forward to it. though i dont want time to fly by so super duper fast. just aint fair. wanna stay this age forever!!! basically i dont want ppl i love to grow older and face the real possibility of dying. i know its really daft to think about this. but i do. i cry over it almost everytime i think about it. how will i live without them? have you ever thought about that? its the absolute unimaginable. GAH!! STOP IT!!!!!!!

im going to the gym.hrmph.


well well. my birthday is just a week away. not sure how im looking forward to it. all seems rather bleugh.

just feel nothing spectacular is gonna happen.

will spend the 18th with a friend from np, 19th with my sec 5 girls and 20th with my family. maybe just maybe something special with a big bang will happen. not a clue. feels like any other birthday.

if no one had organised anything for me i’d probably spend the day at home rotting after work and maybe splurge on a few things i have on my mind. or try my hand at making a skirt with no material. hows that sound? absolutley fab! *rolls eyes.

no no. i’d probably keep telling myself i’ve got to lose weight and make an attempt at hitting the gym/pool/tennis alone and fail just miserably.

blah blah blah. i need school to start!! LIKE START!!!!!! my next 7 week holiday better be a gazillion times better.

at least i know my june hols will be nice with a week or so in the UK with family plus gramps’ memorial service. decided i won’t worry too much about my spending. not like we go to the UK every year any more. shopping there is way more fun. maybe cos i never go shopping there alone. no one here seems to wanna go shopping. or maybe it’s cos im too scared to drag them into a full block of hours just walking around trying to buy something.

wanna go on a walk around little india and peep poke around. or how about china town? plus tonnes of picture taking. I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!

i seem to keep trying to do things. gotta actually do them eh? haha.

will update on school when i go round the corner.


freshman orientation camp. can’t sufficiently discribe it in words here.

let’s break it down into subcategories.


really enthusiastic bunch of people with great diversity. still can’t understand how they’re my freshies. scary thought. some really cute ones and others that just stand out from the rest for all the little quirks they have.


my group? 14 freshies. not an over enthusiastic group but not too quiet either. but like us i think they expected to be spoon-fed even when in poly. had to keep pushing them to think for themselves. not an easy transition. but oh-so-essential. all in all they were a super-duper great bunch of freshies and i dont think i could have asked for anymore from them!


despite being in the same school for a year this, again, was another time to forge bonds with eachother. i made new friends with them (abu,abdullah,weining,liana,maisarah etc.). the best was of course the friendship with my fellow GL, Khairul. it was great working with him whenever we did. sort of balanced eachother out (okay, maybe he helped me out). he had this amazing connection and ability to just make the freshies feel so relaxed. okay, so a few of the girls seemed to go kinda ga-ga over him. but all was good.


what can i say? they ‘saved the day’ again. we’ve so much to learn from them before they leave. i’m not trying to suck up or just sound nice. yes so they messed up some bits. but hey, we all make mistakes. i made tonnes in this camp. but they sorta pushed us to do things that are just a step away from planning next year’s foc.

anyway, i have many ideas going through my head for next year’s events like induction day, foc etc. but i shall keep my hands in my pockets for now.

okok. my bed beckons to me now. have bags under my eyes i wish to banish.