Been reading Passion and Purity (P&P). haven’t finished it but decided to pen a few thoughts down just for now.

I have been putting off addressing a few rather pressing issues. I thought I had made myself clear. But even I was unsure of what to do. Am I to remain single forever? I’m not sure. Still have to kneel down and pray about that. But I know I want to remain single now. The very passage from scripture I shared with a friend last night I read again in P&P.

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, 
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? 
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, 
or weighed the mountains on the scales 
and the hills in a balance?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard? 
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?

He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, 
and its people are like grasshoppers. 
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, 
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

He brings princes to naught 
and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.

No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground, 
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

“To whom will you compare me? 
Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: 
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name. 
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob, 
and complain, O Israel, 
“My way is hidden from the LORD; 
my cause is disregarded by my God”?

Do you not know?
Have you not heard? 
The LORD is the everlasting God, 
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary 
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD 
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles; 
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

how absolutely amazing is our God?! The very creator of the entire universe (not just earth, this little speck) who cares to give us (an even more minuscule speck) strength, comfort, hope?

If the potentially most important person in my life cannot share in this absolute joy that I have in our Lord, where will our relationship/marriage hinge?! Some people say that it’s all the feelings. “If both of you like/love each other its enough.” But is that all it is? Just feelings?! Is it that shallow? I want to be able to receive support and in return support that ultra important person in OUR walk with God.

“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

It shouldn’t just be HIS walk or HER walk with God. It should become OUR walk with God. So if he or she does not share this intimate relationship with God how can it be OUR walk?!

In God’s time He will lead me to the man He will have me marry if that is His will. Of course not everyone is called to a life of matrimony. But in that life of singlehood we are not alone.

But Jesus said, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked—or accepted. Others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

For your Maker is your husband—
the LORD Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
he is called the God of all the earth.

A life of singlehood is not the end of the world. I don’t know where my life will lead. But I know that God is in entire control of it and “we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” What more assurance do we need?

So my final stance to this “song and dance” is to Let go and Let God. ((:

As chilren bring their broken toys,                                                                           with tears for us to mend,                                                                                               I Brought my broken dreams to God,                                                                   because He is my friends.                                                                                             But the  instead of leaving Him in peace to work alone,                                                  I hung around and tried to help,                                                                               with ways that were my own.                                                                                         At last, I snatched them back again                                                                          And cried, “How can you be so slow?”                                                                        “My child” He said, “What could I do?                                                                        You never did let go.”

“Holding on to problems that were never really mine. Searching for solutions that I know I could not find. But calling on you helped me realise, now I see, there really is no mystery, oh Lord You hold the key. But I still wonder what is there for me to do. I’ve made one more mistake ’cause I took my eyes off You to glance at my circumstance. Lord what is wrong with me? Gotta remind myself that You’re all I need.”