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Things in my shoe box:

  1. Toy rose
  2. Lego car
  3. Key chain
  4. Jade
  5. Lomo camera
  6. Grandmother underwear
  7. Hot wheels car
  8. Rubik’s cube
  9. “The Leap Year” movie stub
  10. PDL
  11. And a few pieces of paper with handwritten words on it

And you may ask “so what are they doing in a box?”

Well, to cut the long story short, they’re gonna stay in there at the back of my cupboard until the pain stops and I can look at them. I know I’m missing one scratch-card and I’ll find it.

I have to end it some time, and maybe this will help. I’m not quite sure either cos this is the first time this has all happened to me. Hopefully tonight is better after I wear myself out at the gym. I need my sleep.

Thanks to everyone who has been there for me. I really really appreciate it.

((:amy.

I did, I know I did.

Promises shattered
Answers don’t come
Friends say goodbye
Plans come undone
Dreams get crushed
Lies get told
Words can turn cruel
Hearts can grow cold
In a broken world where we cry to feel
Some hope that helps these hearts to heal
You’re my strength, You’re my refuge
In a broken world, Jesus I’m holding to You
You make sense of the madness
And You make darkness flee
You bring such a calm
To the chaos in me
Show me life
Tell me truth
Day after day I keep running to You
Long ago, we fell so far
Yet You came to where we are

Please God, help me. Take the pain away. I’m sorry I disobeyed you. Don’t be silent.

Please.

well people. i know there a number of people who will expecting a post from me. shan’t disappoint you.

i know there’s this girl who’s gonna read this post. i just know she will. now she’s a special girl. no doubt even though i don’t know her personally. just wanna tell you some things i learnt.

he loves dark chocolate. maltesers especially.

he loves chicken wings. specifically the ones cooked by his mother.

you know the dough balls at campus deli? yea. those. cheer him up.(:

he is very superbly romantic and thoughtful.very generous at times.

not the chatty type. but don’t force him to talk. i did that a lot. shouldn’t have. he’ll talk in his own time. i’ve learnt that.

and don’t lecture him unless it’s a life and death situation. i nagged and lectured too much. you don’t need to tag onto that mistake.

he’ll get extremely nervous when you’re in his car. so try not to distract him or stare at him while he’s driving.

get to know his buddies. they mean a million red m&ms to him. though you may know who they are, befriend them. they’re real cool, nice, considerate people.

when he needs space, just give it to him. he’ll come back when he’s ready. just let him know you’re there yea?

if you give him something (especially something to eat) make sure he eats it and doesn’t put it on display.

don’t let him use something expensive (like your phone) when he’s drinking something.

and make sure he makes the first move. he’s the guy. he needs to practice being THE guy. haha.

last of all, just take care of each other yup? i know he’ll take good care of you.

and make sure your phone bill doesn’t hit the roof! haha. yea.

God bless!

and people, i’m trying to let go okay? cos i’m hard-core-amy! real hard core. ((((:

haha.xxoo

when will we ever learn to be quiet?

when will we ever learn to be silent?

when will we ever learn to shut up and just listen?

 

STOP BEING SO BOTHERED.

STOP BEING SO IDIOTIC.

STOP WORRYING.

 

The things that we feel most deeply about we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God.

So I repeated myself. Tend to do that a lot. Nothing wrong right? Yup.

Today has been good and odd both at the same time.

First I wanna say a huge huge huge sorry. Looking back now the time-out was real unnecessary. I don’t know what made me do it.

However, it has got me thinking and thinking and, yes, thinking yet again.

I have managed to figure some extremely vital things out. Don’t know exactly how to explain it so I shall just pen down the quotes that have propelled me to this decision. It’s a follow-up from this morning’s post.

Waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heard to God about it whenever it intrudes upon ones thoughts. (every time I thought of you I quickly lifted you in prayer before returning to the task at hand)

The things that we feel most deeply about we ought to learn to be silent about, at least until we have talked them over thoroughly with God. (I’ve told you too many things too fast and taken them back all to abruptly; don’t wanna do that any more)

So what if it’s human nature to talk too much rubbish and just babble ’round the clock. When God comes to live in us when we accept Him as our Lord and Saviour, we are given a supernatural strength that enables us to be more like Christ and defy ‘human nature’. I don’t want to be like ‘all the other girls’ and just talk about what’s on my heart whenever I want to. We are told to guard our tongues and speak with wisdom from above. And that means only speaking what’s on God’s heart and sometimes this may mean speaking later than we wish but if that’s how it’s supposed to be I’ll do it. It will test and stretch me just as much you. But I don’t want to spout nonsense. Not when our friendship means so much to me.

I don’t want to speak of myself but of God.

“Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day” 2 Timothy 1:12

“Avoid Godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.” 2 Timothy 2:16

[[:

I knelt to pray but not for long,

I had too much to do.

I had to hurry and get to work,

for the bills would soon be due.

So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,

and jumped up off my knees.

My christian duty was now done,

my soul could rest at ease.

All day long I had no time

to spread a word of cheer.

No time to speak of Christ to friends,

they’d laugh at me i’d fear.

“No time, no time, too much to do”,

that was my constant cry.

No time to give to souls in need

but at last the time, the time to die.

I went before the Lord, I came,

I stood with downcast eyes.

For in his hands God held a book;

It was the book of life.

God looked into hiss book and said

“Your name I cannot find.

I once was going to write it down

but never found the time.”

 I still remember the night we met
You said you loved my smile
But your love for me was like a summer breeze
Oh, it lasted for a while
I could hold on a little tighter I know
But when you love someone you gotta let ’em go so

So I’m gonna smile
‘Cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can’t see me cry
I’m gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I’m gonna smile

Kiss me once for a good time, baby
Kiss me twice for goodbye
You can’t help how you don’t feel
And it doesn’t matter why
Give me a chance to bow out gracefully
‘Cause that’s how I want you to remember me

I’m gonna smile
‘Cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can’t see me cry
I’m gonna let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I’m gonna smile

I’m gonna be optimistic. No – not a dumb smiling clown. I’m gonna learn to be grateful. Who are we to complain? We don’t deserve anything we have; not even our lives. So quit complaining. It never got you anywhere. Never will.

Even if I feel so empty and hollow I don’t wanna wallow in it cos I know where to find this “filling”. It comes from above. Fantastic thing He has for me. ((:

And smiling won’t kill me.

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, youll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
Youll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

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