You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2008.

yes.so i’m going to china to be mad about CHINESE!!!! okay. so i hope that my chinese improves while i’m there. (((: if not i’ll just enjoy the company and food.

goodbye Singapore!

amyruth.xxoo

why did I have to change?couldn’t it have just remained that way? being loved and loving with no boundries, no limits. come back.

at least this is true: Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. every part of him.

amyruth.xxoo

I just have to blog about this. it is so so rare.

Daddy and I went to the dentist today for our check up and then headed to Mr Prata for breakfast. (i know, we just cleaned our teeth) This grandmother happened to bring her grandson for prata. On seeing this daddy remarked “I want to bring my grandchildren here too”. I responded “don’t look at me, I don’t even have a boyfriend!” “What? You’re not sad about that are you?” he replied. Haha.

This led us into the conversation about my ideal husband. Seriously we hardly talk let alone talk about my love life – which is pretty much non-existent if you’re talking about progress. Daddy asked what job I’d like my husband to have. Ideally? A missionary doctor. Missionary because I would love to be an overseas missionary eventually. Doctor because we’d be passionate about the same things (i think) like medicine and healing others. Then he asked what I’d do if the husband God provided wasn’t a missionary doctor or even just a doctor or just a missionary. I’d just take what God gives me. In the end He knows what is best for me. Daren’t I dispute the omnipotence of my creator. Daddy finally asked if I’d marry/date a non-christian. I just looked straight ahead and gave him a definite “no”.

In the end all I really want in my boyfriend and husband-to-be would be a man after God’s own heart, on fire for God and unashamed to show it. He may be a doctor, nurse, lawyer, business man, stockbroker, teacher, engineer, pilot, soldier, politician, driver, sailor, chef, salesman etc. but if God has set him apart for me then there must be something God has seen in him that He wants me to be part of.

In the end all we want is for “someone to… just be with”. ((:

amyruth.xxoo

He and I had something beautiful
But so dysfunctional, it couldn’t last
I loved him so but I let him go
‘Cause I knew he’d never love me back

Such pain as this
Shouldn’t have to be experienced
I’m still reeling from the loss,
Still a little bit delirious

Near to you, I am healing
But it’s taking so long
‘Cause though he’s gone
And you are wonderful
It’s hard to move on
Yet, I’m better near to you.

You and I have something different
And I’m enjoying it cautiously
I’m battle scarred, I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be

He’s disappearing
Fading steadily

I’m so close to being yours
Won’t you stay with me
Please

Near to you, I am healing
But it’s taking so long
‘Cause though he’s gone
And you are wonderful
It’s hard to move on
Yet, I’m better near to you.

I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I belong
Where you are

heard this song when I was in the car after YG bible study + wii at michelle’s. i’m not refering to anyone specifically. it’s just a song.

amyruth.xxoo

ps. fireworks on Friday with Kenneth was hot. it was like God sprinkling loads of glitter all over the sky. and as mummy said, He could do that; He’s God.((:

the aim was to show off our figures. or lack thereof.

the aim was to show off our figures. or lack thereof.

we decided to upsize. a bit too big I think.
we decided to upsize. a bit too big I think.

yea. so this is what happened when we finished our exams and were left in town to our own devices. meidan was busy looking for clothes she wanted and shiwei was fulfilling his “duty” as her boyfriend to approve of her clothes. so sharity and i went around doing stuff like protecting ourselves from the heat of the f21 lights, suffocating ourselves and seeing how it felt wearing sunglasses with the tags tickling your nose.

evidently it was great fun cos meidan and shiwei decided to stop trying on clothes and join us.
there were loads more moments to catch on camera like sharity looking up the skirts of the mannequins and me trying to get the clothes placed so high up out of my paws.)): oh oh. and we played a prank on meidan while she was trying clothes. okay so it was only me. i threw over a pair of undies (g-string to be specific) and it landed on her head while she was putting her clothes on. ahh. it was fun.
and i got to see my ex-driving instructor who is now working in some hotel advertising. sad he quit driving cos he was just so so great. ho hum.
gonna continue tidying up my room. it looks like a bomb has hit it. shall clear the debris now.
amyruth.xxoo
Working all day for a mean little man
With a clip-on tie and a rub-on tan
He’s got me running ’round the office like a dog around a track
But when I get home,
You’re always there to rub my back

Hey Julie,
Look what they’re doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it’s so hard to bear it
And I’d never make it through without you around

Hours on the phone making pointless calls
I got a desk full of papers that means nothing at all
Sometimes I catch myself staring into space
Counting down the hours ’til I get to see your face

Hey Julie,
Look what they’re doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it’s so hard to bear it
And I’d never make it through with out you around
No, I’d never make it through with out you around

[Bridge]
How did it come to be
That you and I must be
Far away from each other every day?
Why must I spend my time
Filling up my mind
With facts and figures that never add up anyway?
They never add up anyway

Working all day for a mean little guy
With a bad toupee and a soup-stained tie
He’s got me running ’round the office
Like a gerbil on a wheel
He can tell me what to do
But he can’t tell me what to feel

Hey Julie,
Look what they’re doing to me
Trying to trip me up
Trying to wear me down
Julie, I swear, it’s so hard to bear it
And I’d never make it through with out you around
No, I’d never make it through without you around
No, I’d never make it through with out you around

so while we wait, we hope. and while we hope, we wait. what for? i’m not quite sure. but we do it anyway. we’re odd human beings. we crave for things we know may hurt us. we hope for things we’re scared of.

just one left. but that one can light the rest.

just one left. but that one can light the rest.

at the end of the day, the fear of life without it is far greater than the fear of it.

maybe it’s just me?

amyruth.xxoo

this entry is going to be mindless because i just feel like typing something when in actual fact there isn’t anything to type.

oh oh oh.i know what to do. write a list of things i’d like to get (done) eventually some time soooon.

  1. either make or buy a cheap pinhole camera
  2. a few dresses
  3. a few feminine blouses (?)
  4. smart slippers (okay, that’s kinda an oxymoron)
  5. a nice back pack for school
  6. new tennis balls
  7. another cupboard and a few shelves for my room
  8. many photos printed
  9. many photo frames
  10. more pillows and throws
  11. play tennis
  12. get back to the gym
  13. revamp my room
  14. rebuild my bed
  15. throw out a whole load of stuff
  16. make my skirts!!
  17. design more tee shirts
  18. go to sentosa
  19. go trekking (6km minimum)
  20. get better at the guitar
  21. learn how to play bass guitar

i might just do 1 or 2 designs tonight and put them up here.(((:

okay.gonna look around for them now.

amyruth.xxoo

ps. i have been studying.

yes.just 2 more papers. but that is not really the aim of this entry.

you know something? i am in nursing because of God. i do nursing for God. but then why is it that i do not put in all the effort i have into my work? why do i not hand in my work on time? why don’t i listen in my lectures? i am half way through my course so isn’t it a bit late to be going through all this?

well, it’s been on my mind for a very long time. been digesting it. churning it and turning it over in this little mind of mine. this idea was finally topped off with lunch in KFC with 5 guys from youth group.

who do we belong to? who does what we have belong to? God. so what belongs to God? our time, money, clothes, friends, family, education, toys, home…oh the list could go on forever! so if all we have belongs to God then when we waste what we have whose do we actually waste? it does not take a highly intellectual person to figure this one out. if God was sitting at our dining tables would we waste food? if God was sitting by us while we ate would we stuff our faces til we were obese? if we knew God was beside us all the time would we smoke and/or drink alcohol? if we knew God would be watching us do our presentations in class wouldn’t we give it our all from preparation to conclusion? if we knew God was at YG time or during the church service would we skip them to study, or sleep or go out with family/friends? if we knew God was sitting by us in class would we begin to day dream and not listen in class?

i know. i am pathetic at imagining God always beside me. but in all these God is there. i haven’t put in enough effort in my work, in my revision, in my attention in all my classes. we are called to be good stewards of all God has given us. when God calls us to finally account for all we have done or not done what will we say?

“why did you leave doing your work to the last minute?”

what would you say? too tired? no time? not important enough?

“why did you take more than you could eat?”

i paid for it! i was hungry. it looked too good. i’m Singaporean la, kiasuism is second nature.

“why were you late for church?”

i was up late studying. i couldn’t wake up. had to eat breakfast first.

“why didn’t you have a proper quiet time and talk to me in prayer?”

too tired. too much to work to do. late for work/school. i’ll be going to church later.

i have been late for school. i have slept or not paid attention in lectures. i have left work to the last minute. i have handed work in at the very last minute. i have wasted food. i have stuffed myself. i have put in less effort than God would have me put in. i have trivialised God in all the tasks in my life.

in all this, i have tried to compartmentalise God and not give him what he deserves. He does not just deserve my time on Sundays or when I am praying or having QT or talking about him to others. He deserves all of me all the time. in return? I know with Him in all i do, the quality and rewards of my work for him will be far greater than i can imagine. ((:

well, that’s it for now. early to bed early to rise makes a young person healthy and wise!

amyruth.xxoo

oh oh oh.

today is the perfect day. no no, not to sleep. it’s to go to an open space with really funny friends (or someone special if you have one) wearing shorts, a t-shirt, slippers, a back pack with your hair (if you’re a girl) haphazardly pinned up or (if you’re a guy) un-styled and soft and just muck around. Yes, it will be ultra cold so, you wear a sweater. Mine would be the super cosy, warm ACS sweater. Haha.

I know, you’re thinking “Amy’s weird”. Well, so what if I am? I get to be weird now.

I’ve done 6 solid hours of studying NS3. Had a headache since 11 this morning which is now making me feel nauseous. So if anyone gets to be weird, it’s me! I win hands down.

On top of being weird I get to have my me-time now. No more studying. Okay, so it’s gonna be me-time with the TV watching some brainless dvd or something. So, unless it’s a life and/or death situation or you’re gonna make me laugh til my sides ache, please DO NOT DISTURB ME!!! If anything, you can be jealous of the TV.

So, bye bye.

IT’S ME-TIME!!!!!![[[[[:

amyruth.xxoo

Change; we don’t like it, we fear it, but we can’t stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. And it hurts to grow, anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying. But here’s the truth: the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Oh, sometimes, change is … everything.

I’m moving with the change. I’m picking up the pace.

You either move with me and the rest or get left behind. So come on, I’ll take you by the hand and you’ll take me by mine and we’ll move on. And in between us? Christ will walk with us cos we’ve got a place to go!

With Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm.(((:

amyruth.xxoo