You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2008.

We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves, to other people. The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we’ve done, or that’s been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes the damage is something we can’t even see.

I saw her broken dreams inside but helping others fly,
I saw his eyes without a doubt though other lights faded out,
And though her calling roared,such graciousness poured
From the vision of her soul.

amyruth.xxoo

and blood drive 08 was the bomb(((:

many many kisses to adorable adora.xxxxxxxxx

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what do you get when a nursing mother takes Simvastatin?

                                                                

                                         

                                               

                                                                    

                           

                                                                                   

                                                                

                                                                                

haha,

amyruth.xxoo

So today my nose and throat are irritatingly itching me. And the tablet is taking a long time to relieve this headache of mine.

Meidan mentioned something to me today. Made me think of the way I greeted a friend the first time we met.

It was in the library.

He walked past me.

I stuck out my tongue at him…

…and laughed.

He just walked away smiling.

He never forgot that; nor have I. Funny how we made friends.

Oh well, wanted to watch Grey’s today since I got back early but seemes like I’ve watched all Elizabeth has. So instead I found this quote.

In life only one thing is certain no matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions, you are going to make mistakes, you’re going to hurt people, you’re going to get hurt and if you ever want to recover there’s really only one thing you can say… I forgive you.

So what do I do now? Work? Nah. TV? Nothing appealing. Read? I have a headache (it’s a good excuse okay!). Sleep? Not tired enough. Gym? Did that yesterday.

Think I’ll do something for BingBangBoom.

amyruth.xxoo

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them.

But eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day… they will open their eyes and it will come true.

amyruth.xxoo

it’s been a year. what should I say? “oh boy, time does fly by.” “it doesn’t seem like a year!” “where has the time gone?!”

I never posted it here so I shall just put it up without the link.

all i ever wanted.

November 10, 2007

i give up. i have to let it all out now. there’s no way i’m keeping it. so much has happened. so many questions. so many thoughts.

gramps left almost 2 weeks ago. peacefully in his sleep. half way around the world. i haven’t really cried about it yet. it’s all inside. do you have any idea just how much it sucks to be so far away from all of this? mummy went over a few days before he left. daddy left about a week ago. i hate being stuck here. when people i love are over there hurting and i dont have a chance to be there. it sucks. it hurts. i just can’t describe it.

and yet i can’t cry about it. i don’t dare cry in front of others. or maybe i don’t want to. you tell me. am i becoming heartless? proud?

he never ate hot toast. he let it cool on his napkin ring. he bought flowers for granny in secret and she called him ‘naughty gramps’. he poked and showed us things on walks with his walking stick. he was ultra neat and organized. he was patient and told me where i had gone wrong in varnishing the photo frames. he only wore one signet ring on his little finger and always wore a sweater over his checkered shirts. i remember holding his hands on our walks. it was always so gentle. and how he would fall asleep in front of the tv and suddenly open his eyes when we all looked at him. the tea he always had with one teaspoon of honey. his ginger marmalade. how he didn’t like chocolate cake!! haha.

and now? i don’t know. how do you keep memories and leave it at that? is that all? is that seriously all we can do?

the way he used to say hello on the phone. i remember it. it rings in my ears even now.

i wanted to be there. that’s all i wanted.

so that’s it I guess. a year today.

amyruth.xxoo

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you’re making a mistake you can’t undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can’t pretend we hadn’t been told. We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the old poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats never trying.

amyruth.xxoo

with Christ in the vessel we can 🙂 at the storm.

Throughout much of the thinking brain, gooey plaques now crowd neurons from outside the cell membranes, and knotty tangles mangle microtubule transports from inside the cells. All told, tens of millions of synapses dissolve away. Because the structures and substructures of the brain are so highly specialized the precise location of the neuronal loss determines what specific abilities will become impaired. It is like a series of circuit breakers in a large house flipping off one by one.

Isn’t it true however far we’ve wandered Into our provinces of persecution, where our regrets accuse, we keep returning; back to the common faith from which we’ve all dissented, back to the hands, the feet, the faces. Children are always there and take the hands even when they’re most terrified. Those in love cannot make up their minds to go or stay. Artist and Doctor return most often. Only the mad will never never come back. For doctors keep on worrying while away. In case their skill is suffering and deserted. Lovers have lived so long with giants and elves. They want belief again in their own size and the artist prays ever so gently- “let me find pure all that can happen”. Only uniqueness is success! For instance, Let me perceive the images of history, all that I push away with doubt and travel, today’s and yesterday’s, alike like bodies.

amyruth.xxoo

[YOUTUBE=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSW9kWIRCOQ]

really amazing creation. dare say this is the result of the Big Bang?

I’m getting a tad bit tired of flitting about. I’d love to create an atmosphere in my bedroom where soft/reflective music would play as I huddle in a ball amongst many soft blankets and pillows and just watch the rain land ever so steadily on the patio causing minuscule droplets to reflect off the ground onto the window.

Another thing, I seriously miss my water bottle. I feel like part of me is just missing. And a real piano is what I crave for – not a keyboard. Once you’ve been given the best things you crave for nothing less. But sometimes you have to settle for the latter.

Sometimes we love people so much,
we have to be numb to it.

 
                  
If we actually felt how much,
it would kill us.

 
                  
That doesn’t make you a bad person.
It means your heart’s too big.

amyruth.xxoo

Who am I? What am I? hollerhollerholler.

Oh well, another week wooshed. School’s been rather fair. I’m trying to keep the studying going but I can feel the “lazy” cloud looming overhead. Guess I’ll just have to huff and puff it away.

Projects due, tests flipping the pages, quizzes sweeping away time, I need to manage my time more wisely.

There isn’t much to say so I shall just post a few photos here from my previous dates with friends. Go to facebook for more.((:

Shehlin and Faiz’s 19th Birthday.

Sharity And Xiang Qin’s 18th Birthday.

amyruth.xxoo