84549396One can cry with tears
Only then we know he is hurt
But is there any way to find
The pain of those
Who are in pain?
Without tears in their eyes?

The pain, hurt, anger, distrust is there. It’s been there for years. For as long as I think such things became aware to me. I don’t talk about it and I don’t think I ever will. I daren’t. It would be the opening of old wounds. It’s not that I would be lost without these emotions and nightmares at times but it’s more that I don’t know how to give it to God. I’d love to be relieved of this burden, but it’s so lost in me I can’t seem to hand it over.

So I just swung on the swing while singing and looked over my shoulder at the empty swing next to me. Will it ever be filled? Maybe it already is. Maybe it was.