Right now, I’m an OT nurse. A scrub nurse, circulating nurse, recovery nurse, reception nurse.  The thing is, I don’t get a high from surgery. Patient care, to me, is pretty much nil. Unfortunately the patient on the table doesn’t feel like a fellow human being but more like a chunk of meat that the surgeons chop up and dig their hands into in search of some “problem”. I like to talk, comfort, hold, touch and heal someone with more than medicine and medical methods.

OT is not my thing.

The scrubs may be cool, the scrubbing, gowning, shiny metal bling you play around with in that immaculate theatre may be really amazing, but its high is only temporary for me. So, as soon as I can (which will be next friday), I’ll be out of that place and to ED. That might be slightly better.

I want to decide my speciality sometime soon. My gut feeling tells me that I’ll be headed back to 55B. Urology is okay. Simple and pretty much uncomplicated. But I’m quite attracted to something else. Neonatal. Whether it’s the general nursery or ICU. I’d like to opt for neonatal. I know, people have warned me that it’s rather depressing. The thing is, I’m pretty fine about death, blood and very sick people. About these mini patients, I’m not too sure yet. But I know this is something I can do. I can be there for them. I can be their nurse. I can be theirs.

Well, maybe it’s a tad bit too early to say. So I’ll sleep on it. ((: