Right now I am not in the mood or the right frame of mind to craft a well written, stirring post. I’m tired. Mentally and emotionally.

Meeting up with Meidan was great especially after a day of almost complete stagnation of my mental faculties. I had a chance to listen to her and a chance to find common ground about our frustrations regarding life in general.

I’ve cleared my room (mummy and tita did most of the clearing) ready for the painters and floor-men to come tomorrow and friday. It felt like I was moving away from home and as a stood back, looking into a rather bare room, I felt empty. It wasn’t a nostalgic sorta empty, nor a mindless empty but rather a queasy empty. Like I’m at breaking point and might just snap at any moment. Nevermind. After this I’ll just sit and read. I want to be with God, alone and try to cling onto him.

The thing is, I need to remember that it’s not just me holding onto him; he’s holding on so tight to me even when my fingers have long let go of my only stronghold.

He just holds on.

amyruth.xxoo

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