I’m proud. And right now far from trying to be eloquent. I failed at venepuncture 2 times in a row today. That’s how much I suck. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t manage to get the blood but rather that I caused unecessary pain to someone and failed in front of my colleagues. They’re nice enough to supervise me and choose a great vein and I’m stupid enough to blow it and ruin that one good vein. Don’t even get me started on IV cannulation. Not a single successful attempt in over 2 months. Loser. All I do is cause a patient’s vein to bump and leave them with a huge hematoma. Awesome rubbish.

Then there’s me trying to be more Christ like and love those who are super hard to love. Now you’d think that’s easy in the hospital. Far from it to be true. Give me a good and happy patient and that is easy. But how many of our patients are actually pleasant to be with and happy? Yes, cakes, gifts and compliments are wonderful but I wish going against the norm felt as lovely. I know. I’m obviously doing something terribly wrong. But some patients just don’t get it. It’s as if they’re bent on ruining your life and have absolutely no plan on getting better. ACK!

God! I need to hear you. I need to feel you. I need YOU!! 😦

amyruth.

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