I’ve figured.

I’m the sort of person that gets on with life for quite a while. I don’t talk about the problems, I don’t admit my need for rest, I try to take on other people’s problems too, I don’t let my emotions get the better of me (I try to appear happy all the time). And this can go on for quite a few days if not weeks.

But like anything else under pressure, there’s a breaking point. At some point in time I just snap. I let all the emotions fall upon me like a great wave on the helpless sand. Then I just cry – like a baby. Stupidly I try to stop/hide the crying and get on with life until the next breaking point.

So what triggers the crying? It could be multiple things. A long day at work. A sense of hopelessness despite doing happy things like baking. Feeling lonely. Or just being alone! Making a mistake because of carelessness or stupidity. Ah, the list is endless. And the thing is, I don’t like talking about it to others cos it makes me feel like a failure (or maybe I’m just too insecure).

Grin and bear it. Life goes on anyway right?

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me – at least I hope so!

At least God knows… at least He knows.

amyruth.xxoo

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